the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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