i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
