Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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