My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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