just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
