i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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