Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
