You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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