I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
