If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
