My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
