Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
