I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
