It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
