i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
ok first of all what the fuck
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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