Dual....:-)
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize