does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
