I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
