And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
