im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
