Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize