i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize