I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I believe in your delicious
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
