This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
