Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
