OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
