I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
