i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
