He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
why do cheetos always look like penises
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
