Jerry, you need to find god
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize