FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
