I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my being single is dangerous.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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