My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize