please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This baby is an asshole
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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