we have officially lost it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your cock deserves a montage
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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