I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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