THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
