Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize