were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
