Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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