i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
