Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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