11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
