please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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