I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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