He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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