She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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