u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
