How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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