Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
