Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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