I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
