This is not my ceiling
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
