I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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