Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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