Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
