he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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