Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
