He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
