they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
